So Simple It's Brilliant

Inspired by "Walt Armour"

This Was Me

This is for anyone who might be interested.  A portrait of me 50 some odd years ago...

 

Inspired by "Walt Armour"

Have A Fun Labor Day

A Labor Day  Lament:  Nothing Works For Me

This comes from the San Diego Union-Tribune...

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I just couldn’t concentrate on the same old boring rind, so I got canned. Next, I became a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax. I was employed at a diet center, but I got downsized. I became a baker, but I turned out to be a loafer and couldn’t make enough dough. Then I opened a doughnut shop, but I soon got tired of the hole business.

I manufactured calendars, but my days were numbered. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it, mainly because it was a sew-sew job, de-pleating and de-pressing. I took a job as an upholsterer, but I never recovered. Next I worked in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting. I became a drill press operator, but the job was too boring.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it. I became a hairdresser, but the job was just too cut and dried. I tried telemarketing, but I had too many hang-ups. I manned a computer but developed a terminal illness and lost my drive and my memory. I sold origami, but the business folded.

I became a judge, but the job was too trying and soon lost its appeal. Then I tried to be a chef. I figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme. I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard. I enjoyed being a professional musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy. I just didn’t know my brass from my oboe. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patients.

I took a position at UPS, but I couldn’t express myself. Next came a job in a shoe factory, but the job didn’t last and I got the boot. I became a Velcro salesman, but couldn’t stick with it. I was a professional fisherman but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income. I became a masseur for a while, but I rubbed people the wrong way.

Then I was a Hawaiian garland maker, but I got leid off. So I turned to designing lingerie, but I got the pink slip. I tried being a fireman, but I suffered burnout. I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity and finally withdrew from the job. Next I was employed by a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes, but I wasn’t up to it. So I became a personal trainer in a gym, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job. Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking and revolting, so they discharged me. I got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. I became a cardiologist, but my heart just wasn’t in it.

I became a tennis pro, but it wasn’t my racket. I was too high strung. I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties and my class. I trained to be a ballet dancer, but it was too-too difficult. I became a farmer, but I wasn’t outstanding in my field. Then I was a pilot. I flew by the seat of my pants, but I didn’t have the right altitude.

Next, I worked at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. For a while, I was a calliope player, but I ran out of steam. Then I was a witch, but I was never any good at spelling. I became a statistician, but I got broken down by age, sex and marital status. Finally, I was a Scrabble champion, but I became inconsonant, and I couldn’t move my vowels anymore.

So I’ve retired — and I find I’m a perfect fit for this job!

Inspired by "Maggie's Farm"

Me Too...Me Too...Me Too

I Wish...I Wish...I Wish

I use to own one of these, but I outgrew it.

Inspired by "Like Cool"

I Did It...I Did It...I Did It

Before November 6th, Barack Obama will take credit for this...

Inspired by "American Enterprise Institute"

Watch It...Watch It...Watch It

Just for fun...

Inspired by "Malin Christersson"

Put Up Or Shut Up

In choosing Paul Ryan as his running mate, Mitt Romney has called the bluff of a good portion of the American electorate.  Yup, twice as many of us identify ourselves as conservatives as opposed to liberal.  Yet, we elected a Democrat last time around.  George F. Will, in his latest Washington Post oped, puts it this way...

"Twice as many Americans identify themselves as conservatives as opposed to liberal. On Nov. 6 we will know if they mean it. If they are ideologically conservative but operationally liberal. If they talk like Jeffersonians but want to be governed by Hamiltonians. If their commitment to limited government is rhetorical or actual. If it is, as Daniel Patrick Moynihan suspected, a 'civic religion, avowed but not constraining".

Human beings, said one of the wisest of them — Aristotle — are political animals and language-using animals. Americans, as you do not need to be Aristotle to know, are complaining animals. They use language to complain about politics. Mitt Romney should remind them that one function of elections is to force most voters — the winning majorities — to forfeit the fun of complaining. For example, if the swing state of Nevada, which has the nation’s highest unemployment rate (12 percent), votes for four more years of current policies, it must henceforth suffer in silence. Actually, all those who vote to continue Barack Obama’s distinctive brand of clientelism — crony capitalism — must, if he wins, become political Trappists, taking a vow to keep quiet."

In other words folks, it's time to put up or shut up.

Hey Punk

"Make my day Hussein"

I Just Can't Help Myself

I Just Can't Help Myself

Inspired by "Walt Armour"

I Wanna Puke

I don't care if you're a Republican, a Democrat, a Libertarian, or a member of some other political party.  I don't care if you've never voted in a presidential election in your life.  Read the following article from "The Gateway Pundit". 

After reading it if you're not vomiting and bleeding from the eyes because of disgust and anger, do me a favor.  Jump off the nearest cliff and put yourself out of your misery.

Buy the way, if you find yourself making excuses for our abysmal "Commander in Chief", read the second article in this posting.  I dare ya.    

*********************************************************************************

Inspired by "Nice Deb"

Free With Oil Change

Inspired by "Darin Walker"