Friday, November 30, 2012

It Didn't Kill Them...It Won't Kill Us


Midnight
December 31, 2012
The "Fiscal Cliff"
To jump or not to jump, that is the question...


Inspired by "Pradheep Shanker"

Mr. Boehner, Call His Bluff



1.  Would President Obama let the Republicans fall off the fiscal cliff?
In a heart beat.
2.  Would President Obama let fellow Democrats fall off the fiscal cliff?
You betcha.
3.  Would President Obama let the country fall of the fiscal cliff?
Yup.
4.Would President Obama let his ego fall of the fiscal cliff?
No way Hussein!


Thursday, November 29, 2012

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Can Elephants Fly?

        
              I've never seen an elephant fly, but here's one making a cat fly... 


                                                     Cat was not injured



Inspired by "LikeCOOL"

It Was Inevitable

Hitting The Jackpot



I never bet on a horse in my life and I've never bought a lottery ticket.  But on the way home from work this evening I started imagining all the things I could buy with that $550 million Powerball jackpot. I could buy my own jet and hire a pilot and go anywhere I wanted without any hassle.  I could travel the world.  Heck, I could buy a house and live anywhere I wanted.  But you know what I'd really like to do? You know that TV show "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives"?  I'd love to go to all those great places to eat and try all those great barbecues and spaghetti dishes and go to all those sandwich shops and hamburger joints and eat all that stuff that's fast fried and deep fried and home fried.  Man, I was getting real hungry just thinking about it.  I checked my wallet and I had two bucks and some change.  Enough for that Powerball ticket.  So I decided to pull in to the first place I came to and buy the winning ticket.  But I couldn't stop thinking about all that food I was going to eat once I won the jackpot.  Then I saw it.  I pulled in and bought a "Big Mac".    

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

More, More, More

A new Pew Research study shows that nearly 6 in 10 young Americans under the age of thirty want more government. My first thought was, "IDIOTS". But the more I thought about it, the more it makes perfect sense. Free, free, and more free.  And more government means even more free.



1.  These young adults went to college and had the government assist them in paying their tuition.
2.  They had the government pay the rent while in school.
3.  Once out of school, they couldn't hold down a full time job, so they collected 99 weeks of unemployment.
4.  While unemployed, they signed up for free food stamps.
5.  Then they realized that all that climbing up and down stairs while living in their parent's basement was hazardous. Now they collect SSI disability because of "bad knees".

If I were 26 instead of 66 and been living in such horrible conditions the past several years, I'd want more government free stuff too.  Wouldn't you?   

I Like Magic




Inspired by "wimp.com"

Monday, November 26, 2012

Fifty Years

The Democrat Party has controlled city hall in Detroit continuously for the past fifty years.  It sure would be cool if the Democrats controlled the whole country continuously for fifty years. Or would it...



Inspired by "Breitbart"

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Wi-Fi'd Grandchildren

Please believe me when I say this was not staged.
I walked into our living room earlier today and on the right...

"Hangin' with Nana"

Then I turned to my left and...

"I like Papa's tablet"

Sub-urban Humor

What do you call it when you cut a large sandwich in half?
A "sub-division".


Inspired by my daughter "Sherri".  She said it came to her in a dream last night.  I guess it runs in the family. 



Thursday, November 22, 2012

Let's Get Something Straight...

Rebecca Aloisi, vice president of marketing at the Mount Vernon Estate told reporters the other day that one of the turkeys pardoned by President Obama and sent there last year had to be "euthanized".  The tongue-in-cheek story was that the death of the turkey was very suspicious in light of the approaching Thanksgiving holiday and that the "remains" could not be accounted for.

I got a chuckle out of that, but let's get something straight.  You do not "euthanize" turkeys.  You "kill" 'em.  You take an ax and cut their heads and their feet off.  Then you throw 'em in scalding hot water, let 'em soak a bit and then pluck their feathers out.  The next thing you do is cut 'em open, stick your hand inside and rip their guts out.  After that you fill 'em back up with stuffing, put 'em in the oven, and cook 'em.  Then you sit down at the dinner table with family and friends and eat 'em.  "Bon Appetit".

Inspired by "Troglopundit"

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You...



Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Moral Military Madness

Have you noticed that we haven't won a single war in the past forty years.  And I can think of a few other countries that haven't won one lately either.  Well, here's probably the reason why.  "Sultan Knish" is pretty smart when he wants to be, and that's most of the time.  He explains it this way...


"Forget charging up a hill. Armies charge up the slippery slope of the moral high ground and they don't try to capture it from the enemy, because that would be the surest way to lose the moral high ground, instead they claim the moral high ground by refusing to try and capture it, to establish their moral claim to the moral high ground, which they can't have because they refuse to fight for it.  Sadly the only way to win the moral high ground is by losing.  It is better to leave the moral high ground to those who worship the romance of endless bloodshed and defeat."


I'm with the Sultan.  I'd rather "lose the peace and win the war" for a change.



Happy Thanksgiving



A Thanksgiving Classic

My Thanksgiving wouldn't be complete without "flying turkeys"...


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Father Knows Best

A Conversation With God

Me...God, can I ask you a question?
God...Sure.

Me...Promise you won't get mad?
God...I Promise.

Me...Nothing went right today.  Why did you let so much bad stuff happen to me?
God...What do you mean?





Me...Well, I woke up late.
God...Yes you did.  The death angel was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of my angels to battle him for your life.  So I let you sleep through that.
Me (humbled)...Oh.

Me...My car took forever to start.
God...I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me (ashamed)

Me...At lunch they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait.
God...The first person who made your sandwich was sick and I didn't want you to catch what they had.  I knew you you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrasses)...Okay.

Me...On the way home my phone went dead just as I was answering a call.
God...Your phone went dead because the person calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call.  So I didn't even let you talk with them to begin with.
Me (softly)...I see.

Me...I'm sorry God.
God...Don't be sorry.  Just learn to trust me in all things, the good and the bad.  And remember, my plan for your day is always better than your plan.

Monday, November 19, 2012

I'm Not


I'm not going to lose.
Are you?

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Unconscious Mathematics

Seems as though a bunch of scientists at Hebrew University of Jerusalem, Israel did some experiments and found out that, "our brain can do unconscious mathematics".  Shoot, I could of told 'em that long time ago and saved all that experimenting.  The politicians in Washington have been doing unconscious math for years.  Just take a look at the Federal Budget deficit.


Inspired by "Instapundit"
  

Let The Pain Begin

Fixing the US economy is going to be a very long and very painful process.  The politicians in Washington can talk all they want between now and the end of the year.  But just remember, the end of the year is only the end of the year.  Stepping off the "fiscal cliff" will not be THE END. Besides, it's all Bush's fault.

No really, it is.

There are two parts to this cliff we are about to step off of.  First, "Taxmageddon" will happen at the end of the year.  That's when the "Bush Tax Cuts" of 2001 and 2003 will expire.  If President Bush hadn't cut taxes to begin with we wouldn't be in this pickle at the end of the year.  Second, "Sequestration" will occur.  The Budget Control Act of 2011 requires the Defense Department to cut $487 billion over 10 years from its budget.  If President Bush hadn't got us into wars in Iraq and Afghanistan in the first place we would't be facing these drastic cuts.

Mr. Bush is long gone. Blame it on him and let the pain begin.   

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Promised Land

The wrath of the Lord God Almighty shall be upon the United States of America if we do not help the Israeli people.  All I could think of while watching this was, "What if my children and grand children lived here?"...


Inspired by "Atlas Shrugs"

Friday, November 16, 2012

Eagle Eye

Doesn't this kind of remind you of the times when you were a kid sneaking around doing something you weren't suppose to and you look up and...OOPS!

Whassup. I’m an eagle.

Inspired by "Like Cool"

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Be A Thankful "Happy Warrior"

I know that from now until Thanksgiving Day will be a busy time for all of us.  But, if you're one of those folks like me that expected the election to result in a pink slip for Obama, this is a must, must read.  Thank you Mr. Greenfield






Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Post-Election Thought


Up on a soapbox is good.
Down on your knees is better.


Monday, November 12, 2012

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Where We're Going


Where's this country headed?
Some say it's headed for a brighter future.
Some say it's headed for a cliff.
Watch this video and then you tell me.
If you can't stand to watch it all, I'll understand.

(the comment at the end is oh so..."beautiful")

Inspired by "Darin Walker"

Bubbleheads

Guess What?
You know all those Republican voters that didn't show up on election day?
I just found out where they're livin'... 


Inspired by "7amazingcreations"

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Honor And Remember


Just The Ticket

This is my "Can't Be Beat" Republican Presidential Ticket for 2016.
I know there's no such thing as a perfect ticket,
but I wish one of these guys was a gay crossdresser.


PRESIDENT: MARCO RUBIO




VICE-PRESIDENT: JOHN KASICH

Post-Election Sounds






Inspired by "American Glob"

I Still Like Bacon Better




                                     


Inspired by "Like Cool"

Friday, November 9, 2012

Merry Christmas

The day after the election Rush Limbaugh said, "People are not going to vote against Santa Claus".  When I heard this it got me thinking.  I'm  66 years old and I've never, never heard someone ask, "Where does Santa Claus get the money to make all those toys?"

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Communication

The Pope issued a communique today and wanted to make sure everyone between Heaven and Hell heard it.  He called the devil direct and sent God an e-mail.  I think that's the story I heard.   

Organizer

Question of the week...
"How did Obama beat Romney"?

How about this...
"What's the difference between a 'community organizer' and a 'voter organizer'?



Life Is Good?

Let's see now.
Two years of unemployment compensation...CHECK!
Unlimited SSI disability...CHECK!
No taxes to pay...CHECK!
Free health care...CHECK!
Free food stamps...CHECK!
Free cell phone...CHECK!
Oops, almost forgot, free condoms...CHECK!

Yup, life sure is good.
The only thing I have to do is vote Democrat every four years.
And I don't even have to do that if I'm white.



Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Prophecy

On September 17, 1787, at the conclusion of the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia, Delegate James Wilson, on behalf of his ailing colleague from Pennsylvania, Benjamin Franklin, read aloud Franklin’s speech to the convention in favor of adopting the Constitution. Among other things, Franklin said that the Constitution “is likely to be well administered for a Course of Years, and can only end in Despotism as other Forms have done before it, when the People shall become corrupt as to need Despotic Government, being incapable of any other. . . .”

Dogs And Cats And Coffee

I've been checking around this morning trying to figure out why Mitt Romney lost the election and from what I gather there were three basic reasons.  First, it's Bush's fault people still don't have a job.  Second, it's "Chris Christie's fault because he gave Obama a bear hug.  And third, it's a woman's fault because she was afraid Romney would take away all her body parts.

Personally, I think it was just plain human nature.  People don't want to waste their time reading about the problems with Social Security, health care and the national debt.  They'd rather look at pictures of dogs and cats and coffee.  Trust me.  I'm a part time blogger and I've got the analytics to prove it.

"Hey dogs, here we come"! 

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Quote Of The Day


"The most dangerous place to be today
is between a Republican and a voting booth"

                                                                   -Ed Gillespie


It's Your Turn




Monday, November 5, 2012

God Bless Election Day


In the beginning God blessed our Founding Fathers and they established a Republic.  God looked down on their labors and read the Constitution and saw that it was good.  God noticed that the Constitution required elections...
 and he chuckled. 

Saturday, November 3, 2012

A Comfortable Victory

I like the way "Tim Dougherty-Man in the Middle" has been analyzing the presidential race.  I've been following him on Google+ for quite some time now and about an hour ago he predicted Romney will be the next President of the United States with a "comfortable victory on Tuesday".  Here is his map and analysis... 




Ten-hut

This is just a partial listing of nearly 500 retired senior military officers that will appear in an ad on Monday in the Washington Times.  It is being reported this is the largest assemblage of senior military retirees to declare their support for a presidential candidate and that the list would have been much larger had others been asked.  


Inspired by "Maggie's Farm"

Touchdown



Inspired by "Politico"