Saturday, June 30, 2012

No More Red Tape

Have you ever wondered how many federal government regulations there are stealing our freedoms and our incomes?  Well, there's what's called the "Code of Federal Regulations and it's a listing of all federal regulations.  It's about 170,000 pages long.  Another way of looking at it is federal regulations costs the US economy $1.7 trillion dollars annually.


Makes your head ache, doesn't it?  But I've got the answer for stopping all new government regulations.  Every time a federal agency issues a new regulation, send it to the Government Printing Office and use this new technology...



I just thought of something else.  If we used this technology to print the Federal Budget, would that mean that after two months there would be no more red ink?




 

Surfin' USA

Friday, June 29, 2012

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Cynical Depression

"I try to become more cynical every day, but lately I just can't keep up."


This chart indicates the amount of debt 
this country has accumulated during my lifetime.


This chart indicates the accumulated debt shown above
subtracted from this country's growth during my lifetime.

Inspired by "American Digest" and "Business Insider"




It's My Party

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

A Voice From Heaven

A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture. When the son returned, he said, Papa, I had a great time in Israel.  By the way, I converted to Christianity."






"Oy vey", said the father.  "What have I done?"


He took his problem to his best friend.  "Ike", he said, "I sent my son to Israel, and he came home a Christian.  What can I do?"


"Funny you should ask," said Ike.  "I too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian.  Perhaps we should go see the rabbi."


So they did, and they explained their problem to the rabbi.  "Funny you should ask," said the rabbi.  "I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian.  What is happening to our young people?  Perhaps we should go talk to God and ask him what to do?"


So, the three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons and asked God what to do.


Suddenly a loud voice from Heaven said to them, "Funny you should ask..."  


Inspired by "Abundant Life Today"

We Owe Our Souls

When I look at this...


It reminds me of this...


And if you don't get my drift, listen to this...

Monday, June 25, 2012

Memory Associations

We all, at one time or another, have used word association to help us remember.  Well, at my age I use every tool available to help with my clunky memory these days, so I use it a lot.  I've also found that "picture association" helps a lot too, and it's very entertaining at times. Here's a good example...

I see this...


and it reminds me of this...



Inspired by "Mark Smith"



 

Outsourcing

The way things are going, it just might end up this way some day...


Inspired by "Lon"

Peppermint Twist

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Gotta Be

I saw this...


and I said to myself, "This must be the same misguided soul that came up with this...


Palisades Park

Responsibility Gene

The "Responsibility Gene" can be detected in the human body at a very young age.  As a child grows so do the number of responsibility genes, depending on stimulus from the surrounding environment.  However, these genes disappear completely during middle school years and usually do not reappear until after graduation from high school.  It must be noted however, that there are many well documented cases of this gene never reappearing. 

Nostalgia

If things weren't so bad and I wasn't so old,
I'd have no need for nostalgia.



Saturday, June 23, 2012

Help, Help, Help

I want Nixon back.  I want Carter back.
I'll vote for Pelosi for President.  I'll Vote for Biden for President.
Heck, I'd vote for Al Capone in November if I had the choice.


This is no joke.
This has not been photo-shopped.
This is legit.
This is...

PATHETIC, PATHETIC, PATHETIC


Gittin' Closer

On Sale Today
Telsa "S"
All electric family sedan
Range: 300 miles
Price: $50,000




Politically Neutral

It's easy to be politically neutral.  
It's called "I Don't Care".



Friday, June 22, 2012

Proof

On a different post on this page I said that even at my age, "I don't need no more handsome and no more muscle".  And here's the proof.  One of the many female admirers in my life...


Inspired by "Emily"

Too Smart

I was in the supermarket the other day walking down the aisle with all the bottled waters.  I was amazed at how many different brands, sizes and flavors there were to choose from these days.  I remembered when I first saw a bottle of water for sale in the store.  I said to myself, "Who would be stupid enough to pay for a bottle of water when you can get it for free right out of the faucet at home?


I'm looking at all the different brands on the shelves and all of a sudden one in particular caught my eye.  The label said "Smart Water".  Really?  I didn't know there was such a thing as smart water.  I didn't know all the rest of the bottles on the shelves were not so smart.  Then again, maybe "Smart Water" means that if you drink it it will make you smarter.  I'll admit there are a lot of people who could use a drink of "Smart Water" every now and then.


But what about people like me who are already smart and don't need to drink "Smart Water"?  I don't need to be any smarter than I already am.  I don't want want to be any smarter than I already am.  It's very stressful being smart all the time.  Hmmmm...I wounder if anyone makes "Dumb Water"?  A sip of something like that sure would be refreshing for smart folks like me.


P.S.  I know what you're thinking and the answer is "No".  I also don't need no more handsome and no more muscle. Especially at my age.  See "Profile Picture".





Art

I'm on a roll.  I posted "Kodachrome" by Paul Simon last evening.  Let's follow it up this evening with the other half of the duo...




Thursday, June 21, 2012

Patriotic Junk Food

Seeings how I'm on a music kick this evening, I came across this over at Le-gal In-sur-rec-tion.  Thank you professor.  


I'm a patriot and I use to be a junk food junkie before my heart attack...


Hair Cuts

My grandson "Sam" came to visit from South Carolina last week.  My daughter, mother of five, said she is able to cut all her children's hair, except Sam's.  She asked if I would take him to my barber while they were here?  I said no problem.


I'm 66 and my barber "Barry" is older than I am and he's been cutting hair most of his life.  Returning from his trip to "Barry's Barber Shop",  Sam excitedly told his mother that he had just had his hair cut at an "old-fashioned" barber shop.  He said Barry reminded him of "Floyd" on "The Andy Griffith Show".


Sam's comment about Floyd's Barber Shop reminded me of another barber shop in North Carolina.  I hope you enjoy...


Memories In Color

This is for any of you folks who may have worked in a darkroom like me and now work in "Lightroom" like me.  I loved Kodachrome film.  I liked the song, still do.


P.S.  The last place in the world to process Kodachrome film was Dwayne's Photo, a small family business in Parsons, Kansas.  It closed over a year ago and the machine they had for processing was sold for scrap.  




Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Don't Forget

Make your to-do list.
Fill out your day planner.
But don't forget,
When all's said and done,
You're on God's schedule.

Performance Enhancing

A jury in Washington DC on Monday acquitted Major League Baseball pitching great Roger Clemens of all six criminal charges against him in a trial to decide whether he lied to Congress about using performance-enhancing drugs.




I'm glad he got acquitted, even though I think he's guilty.  No one should go to jail for lying to a bunch of liars.  Someone should inject Congress with something that would enhance their performance.


Hmmmm?  I think I remember reading about just such an injection.  It's not really a drug and doesn't have a name, just a number...11-06-12.


Inspired by "Chicago Tribune"

Monday, June 18, 2012

Cool Stuff

"Microsoft Surface"
A 10.6 - inch Windows 8 tablet from Microsoft. 

 Microsoft has officially entered the ring with Apple.
Microsoft just announced the Microsoft Surface, a tablet aimed directly at consumers, and with that, the iPad. Microsoft views the Surface as a “stage for Windows 8.” It’s 9.3mm thin, has full size USB 2.0 jacks, a removable battery and weighs only 1.5 lbs. The casing is made out of magnesium and screen is covered in the Gorilla Glass 2 and optically bonded, a feature Microsoft brags was specifically made for the Surface.
Windows 8 is at the core of Surface. It’s a pure Metro device and has access to all the Windows and also the Xbox. This is clear the product Microsoft had in mind when it announced the Xbox SmartGlass feature at E3 earlier in the month.
Microsoft also announced several accessories for the Sufacing including a 3mm clever cover that features a thin keyboard. Since it’s held on by magnets, it will likely be called a copy of the iPad’s SmartCover, too.
But like most hardware, it’s nothing without the right software. Ballmer was very clear at the beginning of the announcement event that this tablet’s strength is the Windows ecosystem. This tablet runs Windows 8, and with that, both Metro and the traditional desktop enviroment. Every application that runs on Windows, save perhaps Skyrim and the like, should run on the Surface.

Price?  I'm guessing $1,000...give or take a couple hundred.

Inspired by "TechCrunch"


Hat Famacide

No matter what the size,
Sometimes it just doesn't fit.

Yup...

Yup...

Yup...

Yup...

Nope, no way Hussein...

Inspired by "The Troglopundit"



Sunday, June 17, 2012

Drones

No, I'm not talking about the brainless drones in Washington.  I'm talking about the pilot-less kind that silently fly over enemy territory and take out the bad guys.  The weird thing is though the countries that are being rid of the bad guys are the ones complaining about the use of drones.  Go figure.


Anyway, once in a blue moon I come across a comment that makes such good sense it's scary.  And the latest example of down to earth common sense is from a fellow blogger talking about drones.  He said, "If other countries in the world don't like drones, don't make us use them".


BINGO !!!!


Inspired by "Troglopundit"  

Revolutionary Communication

Not very fast, but quite effective.



Saturday, June 16, 2012

Grab Your Shorts Folks

On Friday Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano issued a memo to the press declaring that, "The Obama administration will stop deporting and begin granting work permits to younger illegal immigrants who came to the US as children and have since led law-abiding lives".  This policy change, according to the White House, will effect as many as 800,000 illegal aliens.  


Is this action, which bypasses Congress, legal?  Depends on who you ask.  Is it the right thing to do?  Depends on who you ask.  But one thing's for sure, it's political.  And it's just the tip of the iceberg.  If Obama wins in November, and the Republicans retain control of Congress, we'll have four more years of similar executive memos.  And if he looses, then the 75 days between election day and inauguration will be one giant humongous "Friday night document dump".


And if you think it won't happen...dream on.


Inspired by "Hot Air"     

Political Compromise

Attempts at compromise in Washington these days is kinda like a two headed snake trying to decide where to crawl off to next.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Body Parts

I like Juan Williams.  He's on Fox News every now and then.  I like him because he's got backbone.  Anyone who is as left leaning as he is and who would walk into the Fox studios and sit on a panel of regular Fox News talking heads has got to have backbone.  He's also the one who stood up to NPR after they fired him from his long time analyst job for giving his honest opinion about riding on the same airplane with Muslims.  He made the comment on a show at Fox News.  NPR said his remarks were inappropriate but you don't have to be a brain surgeon to figure out the real reason for the termination.


But, Mr. Williams has some other body parts that I don't care for.  For one, he's got "snobby elbows".  As a matter of fact, he hit Michelle Malkin with one of them on the Sean Hannity show Wednesday evening.  They were discussing intelligence leaks at the White House and Juan took exception to a comment made by Ms. Malkin and said, "I'll tell you what Michelle, I'm a real reporter, I'm not a blogger".


Mr. Williams, let me tell you something.  I'm a blogger.  I may not have the thousands of readers you have as a reporter and I may not get the thousands of hits Michelle gets on her blog, but I'm still proud of the 80 or so hits a day I get on my blog.  It's a real kick in the pants knowing that there are folks all the way from here to Australia who like to read the crazy things I post.


Another body part I don't like is Juan's nose.  It seems to be bent out of shape all the time and it's brown.  No,no,no...I'm not making some raunchy racial reference to the color of his skin.  I'm talking about the brown stuff on the end of it.  Nuff said.


I've never met Mr. Williams, but I'm guessing he's a pretty nice guy.  He's just been rubbing elbows with too many "condescending elitist" Democrats AND Republicans lately and he should just get rid of the snobby (or as Michelle would say "snotty") elbows and wipe the brown stuff off his bent out of shape nose.


And one more thing.  He should read the statistics.  They all say the future looks a lot brighter for bloggers than it does for reporters.  


On second thought, maybe he already has.


Inspired by "Michelle Malkin" and "Sean Hannity"

Thursday, June 14, 2012

One More Topping

I'm not much into gourmet foods.  Maybe because I'm over 65 and on a fixed income.  Be that as it may, I'm sitting in a gourmet frozen yogurt shop tagging along with some teenage grand children of mine and I just finished eating some yogurt.  Don't get me wrong, what I just ate was quite good.  But I'm sitting here asking myself, "Why did I just pay nearly ten bucks a pound for frozen yogurt?  I mean, come on, frozen yogurt is frozen yogurt, gourmet or no gourmet, right?  Alright, I'm just kidding.  I know why I just spent too much money on a frozen dessert.  It's the toppings, stupid.  There were 33 different toppings to choose from and I didn't choose.  Yup, I smothered a little bit of yogurt with a whole bunch of everything on the counter.  


Like I said, it was quite good.  But I was somewhat disappointed.  There should have been 34 toppings...


NO BACON !!!!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

One Out Of Fore

My daughter is a mental health counselor and says that one out of every four people suffers from some sort of mental illness.  I consider myself pretty lucky.  All three of the guys in my Saturday morning golf foursome are mentally stable.

Widgets Won't Work

Me and my fellow employees make widgets for a very well known company. We make thousands and thousands and thousands of widgets every year.  Of all the widgets we make about half of them are defective and don't work when purchased by the customer.  And the weird thing is we keep making defective widgets year after year after year and customers keep buying them year after year after year.


So what the heck.  Me and my fellow employees have decided to ask for a 30% raise.  Yea, I know we already make $70,000 a year and the guys working down the street only make $47,000 a year and most all the widgets they make work when the customers buy them.  Yea, I know we get over four months of vacation a year and the guys down the street are lucky if they get two weeks.  But, we think a 30% raise isn't asking too much.  And, if we don't get it we're going to go on strike.


What?  You think this is just another made up cock and bull story of mine?  Think again.  


Read this...http://blog.heritage.org/2012/06/12/chicago-teachers-union-demands-30-percent-pay-raise/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+FoundryConservativePolicyNews+%28The+Foundry%3A+Conservative+Policy+News.%29



Tuesday, June 12, 2012

God's Plan

          Climate is His plan.  Weather is His mood.


Read First

Rep Rush Holt, D-NJ wants Congress to authorize printing of more pocket sized copies of the Constitution for $218,000.  Guess what?  I know a lot of people that would print them for nothing if the members of Congress would promise to read the original first.  


Oops, I forgot..."Print the booklet, we'll read it later".  Sorry Nancy.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Little Things Bug Me

                    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Sands Of Time

I'm too lazy to leave footprints in the sands of time.  But I'm quite confident I'll leave a real good butt print.  

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Food Fight

When you get angry the best course of action is to pick a fight with an inanimate object.  My favorite opponent is a big bowl of ice cream.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Nets

You know all those government assistance programs the politicians call a "safety net"?
Well, their safety net is getting to be just like the internet.
Just about everybody in the country is on it.

Fare To Where




Cab fare, bus fare, air fare;
It'll git ya somewhere.
But a lota folks on welfare
Ain't goin' nowhere.

Friday, June 8, 2012

I Love Shel Silverstein

I must be really weird.  Every time I read this I think about Washington politicians and their desperate attempts at crafting legislation and trying to get it passed into law....


"I made myself a snowball
As perfect as can be.
I thought I'd keep it as a pet,
And let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas
And a pillow for it's head.
Then last night it ran away,
But first-it wet the bed."
- Shel Silverstein

Inverse Proportionality

The number of postings on this blog is inversely proportional to the number of grandchildren visiting me at the same time.  I'll do my best next week.  They'll all be here...


Thursday, June 7, 2012

Only One Problem

Unless Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin dropped you off on the back side of the moon 42 years ago, you gotta know about the ATF "Fast and Furious" scandal.  If you don't know about it and you have the time, here's a good link to bring you up to speed.  If you don't have the time, maybe this will peak your interest...


Inspired by "Troglopundit"

Rita

This is Rita Jahanforuz.  She is Israel's most famous female singer and now she's become big in Iran of all places.  They say her Iranian popularity is because she's Iranian born, speaks fluent Persian and sings many old-time Persian hits.


Gimme a break guys.  Don't you think there might be just a little something else going on here?  Here's a hint.  She's fifty years old (who'd a guessed).  Here's another hint.  Have you ever seen any young Iranian ayatollah's.




Inspired by "Maggie's Farm" and "The Wall Street Journal"

Friendly World Record

Mr. Nicetameetcha's family holds the world record for most friends on Facebook (too many to count).


His first name is Howarya.
His wife's name is Howyadoin.
Their son's name is Watcanigetcha.
Their daughter's name is Watcanidoforya.
Grandma lives with them too and her name is Godblesya.

Day Dream Believing

The epitomy of day dreaming is believing something constructive is going to happen in Washington.


On Tuesday, June 5th, the voters in Wisconsin said no to big government Democrats and their effort to recall Republican Scott Walker for his plans to curb public employee unions and balance the state budget.  Before noon the next day the Dow Jones Industrial Average had gained over 200 points, it's biggest jump since March.  No sooner had that happened and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) posted on her website a copy of a letter sent to Speaker of The House, John Boehner (R-OH).  The letter requested the Speaker to cancel next week's recess...and instead commit the House to working round the clock to address pending legislation.  The letter was dated (wait for it, wait for it, wait for it) June 6th.


Do ya think maybe...just maybe...?


Nah.  Gotta be a coincidence.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

A Little Less American Pie

If you're over sixty you'll like this.  If you're college age and studying ancient history, you'll like this.  If you're somewhere in between you probably won't like this.  Humor me.  Watch and listen anyway.  I'm over sixty.


Herb Reed, the last original member of The Platters has died.  He was 84.  With his passing there's a little less American Pie.  And not too long, it'll be all gone.

Some Pray And Some Say

Some pray...
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures..."


Others say...
"The government is my shepherd; I want.
It giveth me the other sheep's pastures..."


Inspired by "The Bible"

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Recall


Waiting On Wisconsin Recall Results?

This is for those of you who may have stopped by here this evening waiting for the Wisconsin Recall results.  For those of you checking me out on Wednesday or later, you had to be there Tuesday evening to appreciate.  Then again, maybe you didn't.


For your listening enjoyment.


Monday, June 4, 2012

Conversations

Any conversation you have with yourself was started by someone else.