This first item is the 'Merica Burger. It's the creation of a Southern California burger chain. It's a 100 percent ground bacon patty. No, I didn't just do a typo. It's 100% BACON, the thick cut variety.
And if the "Merica Burger doesn't do the trick, then the dessert should. A Philadelphia bakery has a real yummy dessert called the "Pumpple Cake". It's a pumpkin pie and an apple pie baked in chocolate and vanilla cake, fused together and surrounded by buttercream icing. The finished product weighs in at 15 pounds and is more than a foot tall.
Now, if these two items don't add inches to your waistline within 10 days, there's only one explanation. You had a heart attack and died.